Posted by When she was growing up, Sister Ave Clark’s father told her to befriend the workers who were a regular part of her life: the sanitation men, the mail carrier, the bank tellers, etc.
If you’ve ever read one of her books, you’ll know that Sister Ave took that advice to heart because she will strike up a conversation with everyone she meets, making new friends all the time. As a result, these individuals – from the workers at her deli to the attendant at her gas station – share deeply personal stories with her and allow her to write about them in her books.
During a “Christopher Closeup” interview (podcast below) about her latest work “Hold on to Love…with Graces Galore,” Sister Ave explained, “I feel wherever you go, you can be the love of God in an ordinary [way]. Then sometimes, somebody stops and tugs at your heart and tells you, ‘Pray for me or think about me. I’m going through something.’ …And you say, ‘I’m there for you.'”
For instance, Daniel Alexander Goiz works at the deli that Sister Ave frequents. She learned that several years ago, his mother died of cancer at age 39. Throughout her ordeal, Daniel’s father supported her in every way he could. His example inspired Daniel to write a poem about his father, titled “The Strong Man,” which Sister Ave shares in her book:
“My father,
a quiet pillar in the storm,
never once letting the weight bend his back,
never once letting the dark steal his light.
“He stood beside my mother
through thick and thin,
through laughter and silence,
through the nights of trembling hands
and mornings heavy with fear.
“Cancer tried to rob her smile,
but he stayed –
with the patience of mountains,
with the strength of rivers
that carve stone but never yield.
“He carried her laughter
like a fragile flame,
shielding if from every wind,
until she could laugh on her own again.
“In his eyes,
I see the truth of love:
not the easy kind, not the fleeting kind,
but the kind that survives every test,
the kind that holds you steady
when the world falls apart.
“My father –
a strong man,
a loyal man,
a man who taught me
that love is not words
but the staying,
the standing,
the never letting go.”
With his father as his role model, Daniel is now pursuing a career as a nurse. Sister Ave sees reflections of the divine in him and his father because “compassion has the heart of Jesus in it.”
Sister Ave heard another example of that kind of compassion from the gas station attendant who fills her car’s tank. This man used to work at a different job, but could no longer do so after needing brain surgery. The gas station’s owner, Tony, knew this man and offered him a job there…The man appreciated Tony’s kindness and accepted the position, being sure to reflect the same kindness to all customers.
Some time later, Tony’s wife fell ill with cancer and depression. Tony struggled to care for her while also running his business, so his employees told him to take off as much time as he needed; they would keep the gas station afloat. And that’s what they did for one year so Tony could stay home. The boss who took good care of his employees found his employees also took good care of him. Sister Ave noted, “This is the call we’re all given.”
Acts of kindness were always a key reason that Sister Ave felt drawn to joining the Dominican Sisters more than 60 years ago. She still remembers some of the most influential people who guided her to that vocation, one of them being her first grade teacher, Sister Loretta Marie. “I was always a child that would watch and take in how people treated one another, and she was extra kind to people,” Sister Ave recalled.
At age 16, Sister Ave worked at St. Joseph’s Camp, run by the Amityville Dominicans on Long Island, New York. As the Sisters handed out food trays to the student workers in the cafeteria, one of the Sisters heard Sister Ave’s friend lamenting that she had ripped a blouse she loved. This Sister told the girl to bring her the blouse so she could mend it for her.
“The next day,” Sister Ave noted, “[this Sister] brings the blouse back, and she hands it to the girl. I’m next to my friend, and our eyes got real big. It was not only mended, it was washed and ironed. We’re saying, ‘Thank you,’ and her simple reply to us was, ‘Oh, I just love making people happy.’ I’m going to tell you, those were the moments in my life I wanted to be part of the happiness of that Sister, who happened to be an Amityville Dominican.”
Through her counseling work leading Heart to Heart Ministry, as well as her everyday interactions with others, Sister Ave has experienced this kind of happiness while spreading it to others. She also realizes that age can affect our experience of happiness, sometimes requiring an adjustment in perspective.
Her friend, Sister Pat Hanvey, writes in “Hold on to Love” that she was healthy all her life – until suddenly, she wasn’t. Doctors and tests and rehab became Sister Pat’s new normal.
“This is a person who was a principal,” Sister Ave explained, “the most loving, joyous person you’d ever want to meet. She was a great teacher. She served in our leadership council…And then this happens to her and it took her back for a while. She said she grew more in love with God, but also she started to see herself in a new dimension, a new way of living. Like, what does it mean to adapt, to accept and to let go of many of the things that you love to do and [walk] a little bit more slowly…It’s kind of like we swing from being young and active to being older and adapting our life and still being able to give.”
Sister Ave added, “I remember my dad, when he was going into the golden years, he said, ‘Oh boy, those golden years, wait till you get to them.’ I understand what he’s saying now because there’s a lot of changes that happen. Whether you want it or not, they happen. So you [need] a mindset that [says], let me choose life for where I am, let me choose life for how I can be now, let me choose to listen more to God’s way for me.”
(To hear more of Sister Ave’s stories, listen to our full interview by clicking on the podcast link):
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