Posted by As a child, Sister Ave Clark decided that she either wanted to be a Rockette or a nun. Her mother responded that she should pursue her performing dreams first, then become a nun 10 years later. The young Clark mulled it over and ultimately decided, “I’m not going to be a Rockette. I’m going to be a nun who dances a lot.”
Having recently celebrated her 61st anniversary as a Dominican Sister, Sister Ave still enjoys kicking up her heels – though not quite as high as in her younger days. But her true specialty is helping the spirits of downtrodden people to dance again by showing them grace, mercy, and compassion. She shares some of her wisdom in the recent books “Joy is Blooming” and “Alleluia: A Grace to Hold Life’s Interruptions,” and we discussed them recently on “Christopher Closeup” (podcast below).
Sister Ave’s father once told her she was going to “evangelize the world.” She didn’t know what that meant at the time, but she certainly does now. She chose to join the Dominicans, which are a preaching order, and has served others joyfully for more than six decades. And it’s clear that evangelization comes naturally to Sister Ave. She’s one of those people who connects with everyone she meets: the workers at her bank, the gas station attendant who fills her tank, the handyman, the postman, the grocery store workers who she engages with while shopping, etc.
“Anybody that comes into my space in life or I into theirs, I hope we’ll remember each other,” Sister Ave explained. “I just love sharing my joy, my happiness. Have I had tears in life? Yes. And this past week, three of my dear Sisters returned to heaven. You have that moment where you miss them. And then all of a sudden I say, ‘I’m glad I had the moment of cherishing what they gave to me: friendship, example, inspiration, simplicity.’ We better look at how we see people in life. Not in a greedy way or what will you do for me? It’s about that relationship…and it’s also about restoring hope and mercy and peace to our world. That’s the way I live.”
The way Sister Ave lives was greatly impacted 20 years ago when her car was hit by a runaway train, and she spent one year in intense recovery and rehabilitation. Though she was tempted to dwell in her misery, she chose instead to tell herself that she could make at least a small step towards healing every day. “I started looking at the little moments,” Sister Ave explained, “of being able to use my hand again, to write, to get up and walk. [My] right foot is constantly in pain from that injury, but if I focus only on that, then I’m going to feel more of the pain. I’m not Pollyanna, I’m a realistic person. But I truly believe that joy wraps around us that beautiful grace of saying, you can do this today.”
Sister Ave finds particular inspiration for joy in the words of Mary, the mother of Jesus, in her Magnificat, when she proclaims, “My soul magnifies the Lord.” Sister Ave notes that we don’t have to magnify the Lord in large ways. It can happen through the smallest acts of love.”I look across the street every day,” Sister Ave said, “and I see a man put his special [needs] son, who is nonverbal, on this bus. He waits till it leaves, and sometimes I see the man’s shoulders kind of slump. He’s back out there at 3:15 waiting for his son. And when the bus pulls up, I see them. The son gets off, gives his father the bag, reaches out his arms, and they hug each other. The father will not change the son’s mental capacities or his emotional life, but what I see is love. That’s what I see through Mary. Each one of us can magnify…Mary’s loving Yes, her loving trust, her loving humanity, her loving [in] walking to the cross. That’s where our magnificat happens in our ordinary life.”
Sister Ave believes we can do all these things, even through life’s hardships, with the help of God’s grace. That’s why she wrote “Alleluia: A Grace to Hold Life’s Interruptions.” For guidance, she looks to Jesus on the cross and how His response to His own suffering can serve as a guiding light to us today.
She said, “When I think of the cross – we’ve all had our own, and I know it can be painful – [I remember] that the Lord forgave. In the midst of His suffering, in the midst of all the chaos that must have been going on, and the anger too surrounding everything, the Lord turned and looked at a need in the midst of suffering. I remember when the war in Ukraine started and the people got to some kind of a bomb shelter. There was a little girl standing on the table, and in the midst of all the chaos and the fear in that room, she started to sing a song from the movie ‘Frozen,’ not to freeze, don’t be frozen. And all the people stopped in that moment of being fearful, hiding underground. I remember thinking about that. That is what God wants us to do. Don’t be frozen by not forgiving. Don’t be frozen by holding onto a grudge. Don’t be frozen if somebody keeps hurting you or you don’t understand why people act a certain way. Be the repairer of the breach, be the restorer of kindness, be a person of resurrection. That was the message that I saw from Christ on the cross.”
When we move beyond anger and resentment, relationships can be restored. That was the case with Sister Ave’s friend, Joan Kovacs, and her daughter, Karen.
Karen suffered from mental illness and was in and out of homeless shelters for years. All this time, she was estranged from Joan, who never stopped worrying or caring about her.
One day, Karen wandered into a church, where she saw a flyer for Sister Ave’s Heart to Heart Ministry program, in which she counsels people who suffer from various types of traumas, from PTSD to the loss of a child to surviving abuse and more. Karen started calling Sister Ave to talk with her, not knowing that Sister Ave was also a friend of Joan’s.
When Karen discovered this, she almost cut off contact with Sister Ave. But the nun convinced her that she could be friends with them both.
One day, Karen called Sister Ave to say she was in the hospital dying of breast cancer. She wanted to see her mother, so Sister Ave contacted Joan, who flew in from Minnesota to reunite with her daughter. “I knew that this was a moment that Joan looked for for over 40 years,” Sister Ave observed. Karen also thanked Sister Ave for listening to her on the phone so many times.
“I couldn’t change her life, but I knew I could listen,” Sister Ave said. “Then, her mom came in – and the next day, her mom went back and held her as she went back to the Lord…[Joan] never forgot that moment.”
This experience, and many others, highlight the ways in which we can be vehicles of God’s grace for one another. Sister Ave also shared the story of a homeless man who waved at her when she drove past the same spot every day. One day, she pulled over to talk to him and learned his name was Peter. They shared cookies and juice and got to know each other on a human level, but also a divine level that represents Sister Ave’s conception of the church.
She concluded, “Where is the church? It’s in you. It’s in me…It’s in people with tears. It’s in people who laugh. It’s in children with special needs who can’t talk. It is when we listen, not just with the ear…but we listen with our heart and we see. I’m inspired by all the people I meet, and they’ve made me hopefully a better person…Struggle doesn’t make us bad people, even as we make mistakes. Maybe struggle is there to refine us and restore us in a better way. I know people are in AA or they’re in addiction programs or programs for depression, and every day they get better by sitting with others and saying, ‘I care about you. You’re my brother, you’re my sister.’ That’s what our world can be. Nobody’s a stranger, really, in the world. We’re all brothers and sisters.”
(To listen to my full interview with Sister Ave Clark, click on the podcast link):
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